Claire Miles - May 26, 2019


By Shel Silverstein

Lester was given a magic wish
By the goblin who lives in the banyan tree,
And with his wish he wished for two more wishes-
So now instead of just one wish, he cleverly had three.
And with each one of these
He simply wished for three more wishes,
Which gave him three old wishes, plus nine new.
And with each of these twelve
He slyly wished for three more wishes,
Which added up to forty-six -- or is it fifty-two?
Well anyway, he used each wish
To wish for wishes 'til he had
Five billion, seven million, eighteen thousand thirty-four.
And then he spread them on the ground
And clapped his hands and danced around
And skipped and sang, and then sat down
And wished for more.
And more...and more...they multiplied
While other people smiled and cried
And loved and reached and touched and felt.
Lester sat amid his wealth
Stacked mountain-high like stacks of gold,
Sat and counted -- and grew old.
And then one Thursday night they found him
Dead -- with his wishes piled around him.
And they counted the lot and found that not
A single one was missing.
All shiny and new -- here, take a few
And think of Lester as you do.
In a world of apples and kisses and shoes
He wasted his wishes on wishing.

Things have seriously changed in the dating scene over the years.  We’re living in the 21st century,  folks. Traditional dating rules no longer apply, for the most part at least.  This can  be for our benefit, but in some other ways, dating has also become a much harder game to play.


There’s A Two Drink Limit



It’s never a good idea to get too drunk, especially not on a first date.  It will give your date a poor impression of you, and you need to be conscious enough to make smart decisions.  More than two drinks can also add up to a hefty bill.



On Getting Ghosted



Unfortunately,  in today’s dating world, we are best off expecting the worst, and best case – we’ll be pleasantly surprised.  With people going on more dates than ever before, it gives them a sense that they don’t owe you anything, and it can be awkward to straight up say they don’t want to continue dating.


Fashionably Not Late 



The concept that being fashionably late is the attractive thing to do is no longer relevant. Nowadays, showing late is seen as rude, selfish and a major dating turn off.  Show your date that you are serious and respect their time by arriving on time.



Don’t Over FB Stalk



We all Facebook stalk our date before meeting, and that’s totally cool, even suggested.  It’s important to see what they look like, and that they are a real person. But there’s really no need to stalk them all the way to their childhood family trip. Let their be some mystery, and make sure not to slip facts they never told you.


Set Up An SOS Friend



Not only because we’ve heard so many dating horror stories, but you could also get stuck in a super awkward date. That’s why it’s always helpful to pre-arrange a backup plan with a friend. Maybe have a code word, or text them in the bathroom to call you and then make up some elaborate scenario in which they need absolutely need your help this very moment.



Play It Cool with Texting and Emojis



Millennials love emojis. Those little stickers have become as much of a second language as Spanish or French. And while we all can agree that emojis are wonderful, when it comes to dating make sure you don’t go emoji crazy. A study published in the Edmonton Journal found that online dating profiles that were filled with emojis made women think those men were less intelligent. Interesting, huh?


Avoid Internet Stalking



When it comes to millennial dating, the digital age is a tricky time. Internet and social media platforms allow us to connect with people that we may never have met before. However, this isn’t always a good thing. You have access to an inside look about someone without even needing to even take them out to dinner first. You can browse their Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and even though that sounds like a good thing, it can also cause a lot of stress and anxiety. So don’t over-do the social media browsing. 



Learn How To Take A Selfie



Do not underestimate the power of a good, quality selfie. From smiling at the camera, surrounded by your pet and children, or holding cool yoga poses, a picture truly is worth a thousand words. A lot of times, people post pictures of dating apps of them surrounded by other friends confusing their potential future date from understanding who is the hunk they’re supposed to be looking at! So don’t confuse them, just post a solo selfie.


Romance Isn’t Dead



Don’t listen to the pessimists; romance is not dead! The reality of the dating world is tough to swallow. No, it is not always flowers and heart-eyes. Relationships take work and they are hard. But it’s important to remember that everyone wants a little more romance in their lives. Romantic gestures go a long way. So yeah, turn off your cell phone when you’re out to dinner with your partner, cook breakfast in bed, send a love letter- get creative! Show your affection! It’ll go a long way.



Manners Matter



Manners matter! Don’t be the person who went to the bathroom and never came back after a not-so-great dinner date. That’s mean and rude. If you don’t feel butterflies in your stomach, just be honest. There is nothing wrong with saying, “I enjoyed meeting you, but I don’t feel the chemistry.” This is way better than climbing out the nearest fire escape.


Hooking Up



Hooking up is second nature to most millennials. It is a part of the dating dialogue whether you like it or not. Dating is an important time to have fun and learn what you like and don’t like. It’s okay to experiment and find yourself. But it’s also important to know that it can be damaging over time to continue on a path of just free-flowing hook ups. Slow down and decide if it’s really what you are looking for.



Know When To Stop



It’s important to know when to delete the dating apps and take a break from the dating world. You might have been casually dating for weeks or months, no matter what, it can be hard. Liberate yourself from the constant commitments and endless swiping. Stop, delete the app, and breathe. You never know when you’re going to run into your partner.