Americans Who Really Know How To Celebrate July 4th
Andrew Parker - July 28, 2019

15 Wholesome Facts

1. Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't drift apart.

2. The voices of Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse got married in real life.

3. Mr. Rogers' sweaters were all knitted by his mom.

4. Libraries outnumber McDonald's in the United States by a ratio of 8:1.

5. There are more trees on Earth than there are stars in the Milky Way galaxy.

6. Babies don't smile because they're happy, they smile because they like the happy reaction from their parents.

7. Oftentimes an octopus heart will skip a beat when they see their potential mate.

8. The Beatles used the word "love" 613 times in their songs.

9. Squirrels plant thousands of new trees each year by forgetting where they put their acorns.

10. A group of bunnies is called a "fluffle".

11. Smiling actually lowers stress, whether you're faking it or not.

12. Cuddling with someone you love is scientifically proven to increase happiness.

13. We are all made of stardust.

14. Happiness levels are about 50% genetic, 10% circumstance, and about 40% choice.

15. For the ancient Greeks, happiness was a civic virtue that required a lifetime of cultivation.

Every year on the fourth of July, Americans celebrate their independence in style by both watching things explode, as well as exploding from too many chicken wings and too much beer.  There really is nothing that says America more than some red, white and blue fireworks paired with an overly indulgent barbecue.  The only problem is that sometimes, confident and proud Americans decide to do it themselves, and it doesn’t always end so well. Here are some of the most epic fails of July Fourth to teach you exactly what not to do this year.


Patriotism On Point



In all honesty, just the shirt would have already been more than enough. It really already says it all, with both the colors of the American flag, as well as the eagle of freedom. Clearly though, for this guy, just a tank top wasn’t enough to prove what a dedicated and proud American he truly is, and felt the need to take things to the next level. Let’s just hope this isn’t permanent hair dye. 



Proud Pouch



Although dogs of course can’t truly express their feelings in words, we’re sure that even they are proud to be living in America and have all of their freedoms. Their lives could be very different if they lived somewhere else. We know this though, and should be able to accept this without them having to show it in such exaggerated ways. But hey, to each their own, as long as no harm was done to this adorable little boy of course.


Awkward Family America



There’s nothing quite as entertaining as a classic awkward family photo. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better (or worse, however you choose to see it), it just did when it becomes an awkward family photo, July 4th style. This overly loving family is all about showing their American pride in the most uncomfortable and non politically correct way possible. Stay classy, America! 



Southern Sunburns



Not all states are created equal, that’s for sure. So when it comes to certain states down south, such as Alabama for example, July 4th pride is shown in some rather unique and cost efficient ways that wouldn’t be found in other states such as New York.  Perhaps that’s what makes America so special however, that it’s all about diversity and acceptance, even within the borders of it’s own country.


Americans Abroad



When outside of America on the fourth of July, you’ve got to still find a way to celebrate, even if it means going against the country you’re currently in. So when in Canada, the cake you’ll make should look something like this. It’s a great way to get all of your Canadian buddies to still want to take a piece, and then all of sudden they won’t know what hit them. Keep on spreading the fourth of July love!



Flatulent Fireworks



While we’re all for fireworks wherever possible on the fourth of July, it’s safe to say that this proud American might have been a little bit too proud and excited to celebrate this joyous holiday.  She might also have had a just a few too many beers at her family’s BBQ, so much so that she decided to also bring in a Christmas element to the equation too.  Next time around, there should definitely be more regulations when it comes to explosives.