An Old Issue of ‘Cosmo’ Said to Spray Perfume on Your Feet and Other Strange Things
Andrew Parker - December 4, 2019

Happiest Days

By Edward H. Donnelly

I said to the little children,
"You are living your happiest days,"
And their bright eyes opened wider In innocent amaze.
For their happiness was so perfect,
They did not know it then;
"Oh, no," they said, "there'll be happier days
When we are women and men."

I said to the youth and maiden,
"You are living your happiest days,"
And into their sparkling eyes there crept
A dreamy, far-off gaze;
And their hands sought one another,
And their cheeks flushed rosy red;
" Oh, no," they said, " there'll be happier days
For us when we are wed."

I said to the man and woman,
"You are living your happiest days,"
As they laughingly watched together
Their baby's cunning ways.
"These days are days of labor.
They can hardly be our best;
There'll be happier days when the children are grown,
And we have earned our rest."

I said to the aged couple,
"You are living your happiest days,"
Your children do you honor,
You have won success and praise.
" With a peaceful look they answered,
"God is good to us, that's true: But we think there are happier days for us
In the life we're going to."

You can surely believe it when we tell you that 1988 was a different time! Apparently, back in the day, Cosmo advised its readers to spray perfume on their feet. Yup, apparently old Cosmo had some pretty funky tips on all things beauty, relationships, and life hacks (including covering your face in mashed potatoes for skincare).

 

So Cosmo writer Helen Gurley Brown stood by the idea that fragrance rises like heat. That means that if we spray perfume on the lowest parts of our body, the scent will rise all the way to our heads. That’s it, that’s the advice. So Cosmo decided to test out this theory in 2019 and guess what? It’ works! According to their Entertainment Director, Maxwell Losgar, it works.

 

Apparently, Mario Badescu’s face-mask recipe called for mashed potatoes, egg yolks, and vitamin E. We’re just glad that Cosmo has come a long way since the days of mashed potato facials and spraying feet.