Vintage Advertisements That Would Have Not Been Approved Today
Laura Lee - August 26, 2018


By Shel Silverstein

My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!

And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes -- I guess he didn't know
That three is more than two!

Just then, along came old blind Bates
And just 'cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!

And then I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!

And then I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head --
Too proud of me to speak!

Advertising is not only the art of selling a product, it’s also the art of conveying a specific message to a specific group of people in hopes they become customers time and again. With the rise of mass consumerism throughout the 20th century, advertising suddenly became as important, if not more important, than the actual product being sold. Here’s a look back at some of the more outrageous moments in advertising that left us thinking who possibly could have approved these for mass production…

1. All Tied Up



Year: 1951


If you want to claim your power and state your manliness, then, of course, you have no choice but to wear a men’s only tie.  Right? This vintage advertisement tried to be punny, and touch on the subconscious of men.  Thankfully, this wouldn’t fly today. Men wear ties to impress their wives, not to tie them down.

2. A Dress Without Stress


via Imgur


Year: 1952


The time has come once and for all! You can now stop stressing over your clothing with this all-new, innovative wrinkle free, water-resistant fabric that will fool anyone that it’s never before been worn. Show them all how much you don’t care by allowing people to just splash water all over you – as you stay calm and just casually laugh it all off.

3. Don’t Get Caught In Her Web

via imgur

Year: 1953


No one likes morning breath, that’s for sure. The Chlorodent toothpaste brand wanted women to know that their husband definitely doesn’t like it either, not in any way, shape, or form. Simply use Chlorodent toothpaste and your man won’t look at another woman again.  Or at least, that’s what the company promises in their ad. 

4. Get Fat Fast



Year: 1958


Who knew that ironized yeast could help you attract more male attention? Skinny girls should just eat some of this stuff and they’re good to go! If only it was that easy in today’s day in age to have all eyes on us. Today, we’ve got to work a whole lot harder to achieve a look that society considers to be desirable and attractive.