Not-So-Romantic Wedding Snapshots
Laura Lee - June 23, 2019


By Shel Silverstein

Lester was given a magic wish
By the goblin who lives in the banyan tree,
And with his wish he wished for two more wishes-
So now instead of just one wish, he cleverly had three.
And with each one of these
He simply wished for three more wishes,
Which gave him three old wishes, plus nine new.
And with each of these twelve
He slyly wished for three more wishes,
Which added up to forty-six -- or is it fifty-two?
Well anyway, he used each wish
To wish for wishes 'til he had
Five billion, seven million, eighteen thousand thirty-four.
And then he spread them on the ground
And clapped his hands and danced around
And skipped and sang, and then sat down
And wished for more.
And more...and more...they multiplied
While other people smiled and cried
And loved and reached and touched and felt.
Lester sat amid his wealth
Stacked mountain-high like stacks of gold,
Sat and counted -- and grew old.
And then one Thursday night they found him
Dead -- with his wishes piled around him.
And they counted the lot and found that not
A single one was missing.
All shiny and new -- here, take a few
And think of Lester as you do.
In a world of apples and kisses and shoes
He wasted his wishes on wishing.
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Many of us dream of our wedding day our entire lives. As children, we see Disney movies and grow up believing that weddings are the most magical and romantic thing in the world. We are convinced that it will be the best day of our lives, that we will never forget.  But when the time comes around, things don’t always go to plan, and traditions don’t always stick.  The reality is, that weddings sometimes are a whole lot less than perfect.


Confused In Costume



In the heat of all the excitement of getting married, and all the arrangements that need to be made,  it would only make sense that at least one of you, the bride or the groom would get confused as to which outfit they are supposed to wear. Right? Mmmm, not so much. This is just a flat out wedding nightmare.



Painful Popping



If you’ve never before popped a bottle of champagne open before, even in an attempt to be manly, you might not want to to try it for the first time on your wedding night.  You might not only scare off your new wife, but she might also lose a body part.


Planking Pastor



This pastor is most certainly perplexed, to say the very least. Perhaps he’s having cold feet about leading the ceremony. It can be a stressful experience for everyone taking part in a wedding, not only the bride and groom. Just too bad he totally ruined this couple’s romantic picture!



Doves Are Pricey



Weddings can be seriously pricey. The wedding planner, the venue, the food, the alcohol, and so, so much more. When it comes to real doves in the photoshoot, you stop and ask yourself if you really need them. Why not just get some chickens instead? Makes total sense. 


A Classy Affair



We expect our wedding day to be one of our most glamorous, classy moments. But when it comes down to it, after a long night of drinking and dancing, all we really want to do is dig into that wedding cake, right?



Bored & Boozy



This is exactly what happens when you have young children at your wedding. They get bored, because who actually wants to sit through your ceremony, and in turn, they reach for the booze.  Do you really want to be breaking the law and encouraging underage drinking at your wedding? Didn’t think so.


Hold Me Tight



This groom is so focused and excited about his bride to be, that he’s totally unaware of his little flower girl’s terrible fall about to happen. Well, we’re sure it made for an unforgettable story.



A Shitty Situation



Ok, we get that not all weddings are traditional anymore, that times have changed. But really? This is what you’re offering instead of a classic, white wedding cake? Now that’s just flat out shitty guys.


Grimacing Guests



Our wedding guests are there to make us feel great about ourselves on our special day, to compliment us, to look at us in awe and shower us with attention. Sometimes, however, this can’t always be the case, especially when guests are particularly turned off by the couple.



Bride’s Gone Chicken



Sometimes, they say that bride’s getting ‘cold feet’ right before getting married, meaning that they chicken out before tying the knot, and have anxieties as to whether or not they are making the right choice. So perhaps this is her way of showing it?


‘Til Death



They say that in a marriage, the love is so incredibly strong that the couple even feels like they would kill for each other. That’s great, as long as they wouldn’t kill each other.  In this case, we’re not quite sure if the ‘for’ is a part of the equation.



Loving In-Laws



Welcome to the family! What a nice, warm way to welcome your new son in law. Not! This is one protective father that is not ready to give his daughter away so fast.


Destined To Be A Cat Lady



It’s a traditional belief that the girl that catches the bouquet of flowers after a wedding is the next one in line to get married! How exciting! Everyone jump for it as fast as you can. But when it’s cat, does that mean that whoever catches it might be destined to be a cat lady forever? Debatable.



Nude Nuptials



A couple may think that they are going to a quiet, romantic place where there’s no one else to be seen in order to have their dream wedding photoshoot. Unfortunately, this was far from the case today.


Locked n Loaded



This bride looks seriously ready to fight for whatever she may believe in. Perhaps her groom hasn’t promised her enough things, or maybe she’s about to fight for the groom to be hers. Maybe the best bride win.



Mimicking Marriage



You can’t expect all of your wedding photos to come out perfectly, and for all your guests to behave themselves. They also want to feel the love and excitement of getting married.


Portrait Picture



Not all photographers are as well equipped as they should be.  Seems as though the camera didn’t came the portrait filter, but at least his team helped make the best of the situation.



Just Me & You



Congrats! You are now happily married and can enjoy some quality time with your new life partner, just the two of you, off on a quiet beach in the middle of nowhere.  Oh wait, it seems as though someone had other plans for you.


The Cows Are Coming



It’s become more popular and common in recent years to stray away from a big, commercial wedding venue and go for a more countryside style, farm wedding. It’s so in right now.  The only problem is that sometimes the cows get out of hand, and can make your special day a little awkward and uncomfortable.



Burning Bridges



They say that it’s important to get to know the bride tribe and the best man squad before the wedding, in order to feel most comfortable and at ease on the big day. Whatever these people established before however has been completely destroyed, with no trust for one another during this failed photo shoot.  Bridges have been burnt.