Everything That Happens Only During The Summer
Andrew Parker - September 25, 2019

Lester

By Shel Silverstein

Lester was given a magic wish
By the goblin who lives in the banyan tree,
And with his wish he wished for two more wishes-
So now instead of just one wish, he cleverly had three.
And with each one of these
He simply wished for three more wishes,
Which gave him three old wishes, plus nine new.
And with each of these twelve
He slyly wished for three more wishes,
Which added up to forty-six -- or is it fifty-two?
Well anyway, he used each wish
To wish for wishes 'til he had
Five billion, seven million, eighteen thousand thirty-four.
And then he spread them on the ground
And clapped his hands and danced around
And skipped and sang, and then sat down
And wished for more.
And more...and more...they multiplied
While other people smiled and cried
And loved and reached and touched and felt.
Lester sat amid his wealth
Stacked mountain-high like stacks of gold,
Sat and counted -- and grew old.
And then one Thursday night they found him
Dead -- with his wishes piled around him.
And they counted the lot and found that not
A single one was missing.
All shiny and new -- here, take a few
And think of Lester as you do.
In a world of apples and kisses and shoes
He wasted his wishes on wishing.
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Summer has arrived and that means students have swapped their notebooks for bathing suits and margaritas. From sorority sisters sitting pretty poolside to the bookworms who are finally letting loose, summer is the time to get the party started. These students are celebrating summer vacation the right way.

 

In Their Natural Environment

 

 

Behold, the sorority sister pack in their natural environment. Take note they are outfit coordinated, surrounded by alcohol, and either drinking said alcohol, holding said alcohol, or smoking on top of said alcohol.

 

 

This Is A Bad Idea

 

 

Rule one of any house party: do not fight the cops. Seriously, this is easily the worst decision you will make all night and there’s a good chance you’ve made some pretty bad ones already. These partygoers needed to call it a night. 

 

Riding Dirty

 

 

The story behind this photo is hilarious. The woman is a college student from Texas who was seen driving around in a Barbie Jeep. You might ask yourself why in the world this young adult would drive around in a child’s toy? Well, that’s because she got arrested for DWI. That’s one way around it.

 

 

Warm Welcome

 

 

Move in day is stressful, to say the least. You need to unpack all of your belongings, hug your parent’s goodbye, smile so much at strangers that it hurts, and deal with the hungry pack of frat bros. These fraternity brothers really know how to welcome in the freshman class.

 

Bottoms Up

 

 

Way to ring in the start of summer! Someone looks like she had one too many last night. Still in her black dress from the night before, this woman did not know her limit. Or she did and just simply did not care. Either way, hello summer!

 

 

When You Gotta Go

 

 

As the old saying goes: when you got to go, you got to go. And this man certainly had to go. You could look at this from two angles. One, it’s good he didn’t just go right on the street. But also, couldn’t he have found a McDonald’s?

 

Ice Cold

 

 

You know the summer struggle has reached its peak when the weather man tells you it has hit a 104 degrees outside. And then the worst words ever during a time like that: no air conditioning. Can you imagine? So this girl got creative.

 

 

Look Me In The Eyes

 

 

Summer for a lot of us means one thing: the beach. The goal: to get the best, most even tan possible. She might not have remembered to wear sunscreen, but at least she remember to put on sunglasses. At least she’s still a stunner…just a little bit more like a red lobster stunner. 

 

Red Lobster

 

 

Ouch! That looks like it hurts. And it’s definitely without a doubt going to leave a mark. A sunburn like that won’t go away in a couple of days. They probably can’t even sit down. Sunscreen, people!

 

 

Summer Plans

 

 

When you are really attached to your kiddie pool days and just aren’t ready to leave them behind? And hey, whoever say college is the time you have to grow up? You have to beat the heat somehow, right?

 

Lunch Anyone?

 

 

There are plenty of easy mistakes one can make during the hottest season of the year. The worst summer mistake of them all? Falling asleep outside! And with something to eat like this girl? The worst.

 

 

The Next Einstein

 

 

Well isn’t this just a genius invention that only a college student would come up with. Seriously, this takes genius problem solving skills. This student needed an air conditioning unit and invented this contraption.

 

Fake-cation

 

 

It’s always the worst feeling ever to see almost everyone you know posting pictures on their Instagram of their cool backpacking trip through Europe and you’re stuck at home. This guy was driven to such desperation to impress his friends he created a fake-cation!

 

 

You Reese’s Kidding Me

 

 

You Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups got to be kidding me!? This is actually the worst thing to happen in the summer time. Especially when you remember about the chocolate you left in the car only to find it turned to mush. But let’s be honest, we all eat it anyway.

 

Rough Night

 

 

Whether you want to admit it or not (or maybe just even remember it), we have all been there. After a long night out on the town and drinking just one too many…at the end of the night, it’s not a pretty picture. But as the old saying goes: better out than in.

 

 

SMH

 

 

This is the meaning of the slang term ‘smh’ in just one picture. The only people who like drunk people are other drunk people. Otherwise, they are just loud and annoying and oftentimes pretty smelly. Did you notice the cop they’re hugging?

 

Someone Move The Sun

 

 

Desperate times call for desperate measures. This man is so sick and tired of summer and it’s bright glaring sun that he just threw caution to the wind. Yes, he’s literally driving with sun shades on the freeway. 

 

 

Excuse Me

 

 

Mother Nature is as beautiful as it is wild, but that doesn’t stop people from trying to master it. Like this person literally asking to pause the sun. Yeah, for real. There was a solar eclipse party going down during the (duh) solar eclipse. And this lady seriously asked to move the miraculous moment in time to another date.

 

Fab-u-lous

 

 

On the outside he’s laughing. But on the inside he is internally crying and full of regrets. Seriously, people, grab that SPF 50 and then hit the beach. There is almost no excuse not to wear sunscreen, it’s ~very~ important!  

 

 

Knock, Knock…

 

 

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sober guy. Sober guy who? Sober guy checking that this drunk girl is okay! We are so curious about this whole scene going down here. Did she drink too much and pass out? Actually, yeah, that’s definitely what happened here.

 

Indeed You Are, Sir

 

 

We can appreciate it when someone can call themselves out. Acknowledge your mistakes. It makes you a stronger, better person. And when you fall asleep on the beach without applying sunscreen first, well….it goes without saying.

 

 

Strike A Pose

 

 

We are wondering if this kid lost a bet because this is hilariously funny. He must’ve lost a bet with some friends and was forced into wearing an itsy-bitsy polka dot bikini. Priceless.

 

Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo

 

 

This fact might surprise you, but teachers like to let loose too! This teacher really knows how to party. Dressed like a fairy godmother or that good witch from The Wizard of Oz, he ended his night epically. Respect your elders, kids.