The Chilliest Photos Ever Taken
Laura Lee - September 24, 2019


By Shel Silverstein

Lester was given a magic wish
By the goblin who lives in the banyan tree,
And with his wish he wished for two more wishes-
So now instead of just one wish, he cleverly had three.
And with each one of these
He simply wished for three more wishes,
Which gave him three old wishes, plus nine new.
And with each of these twelve
He slyly wished for three more wishes,
Which added up to forty-six -- or is it fifty-two?
Well anyway, he used each wish
To wish for wishes 'til he had
Five billion, seven million, eighteen thousand thirty-four.
And then he spread them on the ground
And clapped his hands and danced around
And skipped and sang, and then sat down
And wished for more.
And more...and more...they multiplied
While other people smiled and cried
And loved and reached and touched and felt.
Lester sat amid his wealth
Stacked mountain-high like stacks of gold,
Sat and counted -- and grew old.
And then one Thursday night they found him
Dead -- with his wishes piled around him.
And they counted the lot and found that not
A single one was missing.
All shiny and new -- here, take a few
And think of Lester as you do.
In a world of apples and kisses and shoes
He wasted his wishes on wishing.

Winter is most certainly not for the weak. Those who manage to make it through the cold and harsh winters clearly have unique and impressive survival skills, and we could all learn a thing or two from them. But we totally understand that all you want to do is stay at home wrapped in a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate, and never leave until spring comes around.  Thanks to these hilarious pictures, you’ll feel even better about your decision to stay inside this winter…


We’re With You Chicago



Ok, so although we all know that Alaska is pretty much the Queen of cold, we’re still not too sure how these college students are doing this without getting hyperthermia and frostbite. For those of you that use celcius, they are standing outside with barely any clothing at -45 degrees.  Could anyone actually just get used to such temperatures? Well, hopefully those in Chicago don’t get to that point too.



Wife Of The Year



This hilarious wife of the year shows us that you should never give up on your dreams, and that anything is possible if you want it badly enough. She clearly was not willing to cancel her plans this evening to party hard, and let’s just hope she makes it home safely and in one piece.


Fashion Forecast



This weather reporter clearly didn’t accurately predict the forecast before coming to work. Otherwise, she probably would have showed up with a different color outfit. Well, clearly she really takes her work seriously and feels as though it’s a part of her. She just didn’t exactly have to be so literal about it.



Make Your Mark



Even after this Jeep Cherokee drove away, it still left it’s mark, loud and clear. Well, that’s surely a unique way to save a parking spot for later, although were not too sure that it was actually their intention. Oh winter, you never seem to disappoint (other than when you freeze our bodies of course).


Nature’s Makeup



Well, this is a great way to save on spending money on mascara, and it’s even made with all natural ingredients that were not tested on animals. Sounds like a best selling product, doesn’t it? Let’s just hope her frozen eyelashes aren’t too uncomfortable.



Snow Sale



Everyone of course loves free things, regardless of what it is. People will take something that they don’t even need just because it’s free in many cases, filling up their homes with random junk or eating things they weren’t planning on. But snow? Really? Free snow. We sure hope no one falls into this trap and takes some home.


Downtown Chicago



For those of you that aren’t already aware, Chicago is seriously suffering right now with some tough weather conditions that have reach a peak that’s never before been seen. This is what downtown Chicago looks like right now, and we’re not sure if it’s hilarious or depressing. 



Frustrated Frosty



Even frosty the snowman has had enough of this terribly cold weather, and is ready to hop on a plane out of Chicago, or perhaps even just melt away already. This season has been too much for him to handle despite his tough skin. 


Winter Warehouse



This Chicago warehouse seems to be colder than anything we’ve ever seen before. We’re quite doubtful that anything here will be able to move too soon, and hope that nothing was needed right away. Well, in the meantime, until things warm up, it makes for a pretty epic photograph. 



Winter Cycling



While many people engage in winter sports, we’re not sure that cycling is one of them, at least not in such a way, and not on just any road.  Well, hopefully he learned his lesson, and at least he left his mark.





Although the Apocalypse that we’ve all been waiting for has yet to come, it’s sure come pretty close in a snow version. Chicago is the place to have seen it and suffered through it, and hopefully this will help them prepare for a round two when it hits. 



Snowy Scam



Geez. Winter, as though you weren’t cold and annoying enough, you have to try to be funny? We’re not laughing, we’re too freezing to move our mouth muscles, and request that you melt away fast.


Ice Castle



While an Ice Castle seems to be something from an enchanted fairy tale or a Disney movie, here you have a real life one without traveling anywhere. Just walk outside your door in Chicago, and you’ll be taken to a place from your wildest dreams. 



Basic Bathing



Taking a bath in a freezing cold lake seems pretty basic, right? No, majorly no. This is not normal at all, and we’re really not able to understand how someone could get to such a low point, and we hope they make it out alive.


Just Opening The Window



The winter struggle is so real right now. This is literally the result of merely trying to open the window, and winter couldn’t be any more frozen right now, even if it tried.  Chicago insurance companies are surely not having the most profitable month. 



Winter Blues



The winter blues has got everyone down. It’s a tough and long season to get through. So what can we do to bring ourselves up? Try to pretend that spring has already come of course.  The more you believe it, the more real it will be.


A Hard Winter



Well, like most years, it looks like it’s going to be a seriously hard winter. This is one might be harder than ever, and everyone should be very careful and watch wear they go. Those pieces of ice can be real dangerous and can get you when you least notice.



Shoveling Spots



It’s a tradition that whoever shovels the parking space clean, claims it. Fair enough, right? But how do they save it and show that it’s theirs? With chairs of course. Simple enough.


The Struggle Is Real



If it’s reached this point, then things must real bad. For a gangster to agree to go around without his pants hanging low, it’s probably a life or death situation, and it probably was no easy move for him. Winter, it’s enough ready, you’re cramping our style.



Winter You Scary



Winter, you scary as hell.  Nature, you’re pretty terrifying too. It looks like there’s a creepy spirit watching over us and trying to sneak into our bedrooms while we’re sleeping. Melt this water away before it comes to kill you. 


Parking Problems



This Chicago resident nearly got a parking ticket due to the big bad evil winter that froze over the meter. Thankfully after several hits and a lot of determination, he managed not only to pay, but also hold this epic ice design too.



When Math Meets Winter



Ha, ha, ha. Well, isn’t this funny? When it comes to two miserable topics, that being math and winter, the only thing we can really do is to try to make the best of it and have a sense of humor, right?


Negative Noodles



These noodles in Antarctica are frozen at -60 degrees Celcius, or -76 degrees Fahrenheit.  No wonder they don’t look too edible or appetizing. Well, we can say that they’ve been cooked ‘al dente’ and try to convince ourselves that it’s a gourmet dish?



Nothing In My Way



For most people, winter get’s way in their way and stops them from leaving the house. And if they do manage to leave the house? They cover themselves in dozens of layers and are still freezing. This girl though? She’s got to be from another planet. 


Man Down



This is what happens when some thoughtless person leaves a glove at a construction site. It rains, then it freezes, and then it looks like someone has ended their life in the most unfortunate way.  Thankfully, it only appears as such.



Five Day Forecast



Really though, who needs to waste their precious time watching TV as well as their precious and pricey electricity? Especially when you know exactly how things are going to pan out for the next few months. 


Human Icicles



Sometimes, regardless of if we wanted to be or not, we become icicles. It is what it is, and that’s just the unfortunate price that comes with winter.  Should have just stayed home until spring.



Sweet & Savage



It seems as though Matt Damon is seriously dedicated to the cause, and that he is not willing to let anything, no rain, no snow, no one to get in his way of enjoying his ice cream.  Way to go Matt, you’re always inspiring us to follow our dreams.


A Hilarious Husband



When your husband thinks that he’s funny and tries to play a prank on you, it generally looks something like this, especially when it’s winter time. What a terrible way to spend your son’s first winter. 



Going Nowhere



This snowman and his snow truck are going nowhere, literally. Not until spring comes around, at least. Well, he will have plenty of time to relax and sleep until that time comes.