The Worst Halloween Treats
Claire Miles - October 23, 2018

Smart

By Shel Silverstein

My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!


And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes -- I guess he didn't know
That three is more than two!


Just then, along came old blind Bates
And just 'cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!

And then I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!


And then I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head --
Too proud of me to speak!

Halloween is one of the best days of the year that we all look forward to.  We get to dress up as anything our heart desires, and when were young we get to roam the streets of our neighborhood, knocking on the doors of strangers in order to get free candies and chocolates. Epic!

Although we can’t really still go trick-or-treating when we grow up and become adults (unless we stay really short), at least we have the privilege of being able to buy our own candies. Of course it’s not quite as exciting as getting it for free, but we’re still able to satisfy our sweet tooth.

Another benefit of not taking candy from strangers is that you get to pick exactly what you’d like. There’s no need to worry about getting terrible candies that you’ll never actually eat.  And with Halloween right around the corner, we thought we would remind of these things you hoped would never end up in your trick or treat bag…

For starters, there was raisins. Raisins are not candy, and we’re really not sure why they are ever given out on Halloween. Not ok.  Then there was Circus Peanuts. No, thank you, we don’t want peanuts – we want candy, sugar filled candy.  We also don’t want stale bubble gum that runs out of flavor after 10 seconds. Again, we want candy.

And then, every year, there’s that one person that thinks they are being super helpful and decide to give out toothbrushes. That’s just the absolute worst of the worst and defies the rules of Halloween.

So that we’re all grown up and wishing we could still go trick-or-treating, just be grateful that you can choose your own treats.